Sundown Serenade

I find the time of sunset to be an especially comforting time of day. Most people are home from work and the night begins and all is quieted. For patients with dementia though, the time of sundown is can be very confusing and it's probably their worst time of day. Some of them want to "go home", not realizing that the nursing home is their "home." Some of them become really agitated and cannot be calmed. This is where I come in. I have a few places where my job is to come and soothe those with dementia with music. In one place I sit in a big room where everyone is and play my guitar. That is what i did last night.

I have gone here now two years and have become another routine for them. When I arrived last night I saw one of the assistants helping Ms. Rachel and Ms. Clara into the elevator to take them to where i am playing. The night nurse told me Ms. Rachel was having a really bad day and just wanted to "go home" and kept trying to call on the phone (she was unable to call out without using a code she is not given).  Ms. Rachel is one of the nicest ladies of anyone there and so it was upsetting to the staff to see her so agitated.   Everything changed though when i set up my chair next to her and played my guitar. She sat quietly and listened to me thoughtfully. At times she leaned over to look at the music I had brought with me but kept quiet. By the time the hour was up, she was calmed.

I was treated to the lovely sunset of the countryside in the picture above. I love the drives to these places on country roads and love my work with them. Sundown is a special time for me.

Music prescriptions to help with insomnia

Most of you know I work at a hospital playing therapeutic music for ICU patients.  What this ends up meaning is that I help the patients relax and sleep by using music as a science. This means that the listener links up with the slow rhythms I play and falls asleep.

I'm aware that many people suffer from insomnia. Many report that they are able to fall asleep but wake up during the night and are unable to fall back to sleep. There are ways to help with this and below I will give you some ideas to try.

First I will say that getting a good night's sleep can be an effort. It may mean altering your current lifestyle somewhat in order to ensure you can create good sleep patterns in your life. For instance, I try to go lie down in bed one or more hours before I want to be asleep. So if i want to be asleep by 10, I go to bed at 9:00. Here are some other things:

Starting a new sleep routine:

• Try cutting back on watching TV  before going to bed and instead try doing some light inspirational reading. TV can be very stimulating and I find it very hard to go lie down after watching the news or an TV show. Our brains are still working out the details. With a book, sometimes the quiet focus can relax and help us slow down.
•  Begin your bedtime routine much earlier than you wish to be falling asleep. If you have had children or cared for children, you see that we can't suddenly announce, "ok it's time for bed" and expect them to go and fall asleep within 30 mins. We usually have to introduce the idea a long time beforehand by giving them a bath, getting them in their pajamas, reading to them, etc. It takes effort to help a child unwind. We are no different! We need time to unwind from the day. Give yourself that gift to slow down and unplug from the world.
• You might like to purchase some nice, relaxing new music to listen to as you lie down for the night. I think it is a good idea to have new music that you have no past baggage with (that would get the mind thinking) and something that you associate with resting and sleep. I will list some recordings I like a lot at the end.

If/when you wake up during the night:

•  Something you might try is to adopt a mantra you can say quietly in your mind. If you've ever taken a yoga class, then you are familiar with the chanting music that has short, repeated phrases with repetitious music. I prefer to say a sanskirt mantra of something simple like "Om Shanti,  Shanti, Shanti" which means peace.   The reason for the sanskrit is that in these mantras, the emphasis is on the vibration of the words, not the literal meaning of them. We want to bypass the thinking mind as much as possible. If you have something simple you can use for a mantra (you can google this topic and find many of them) it is helpful. 
  
• The mind is like a border collie dog and it is wired to work and its job is to problem solve. One of the biggest hindrances is when we wake up and our brain kicks right in with things like, "did I send that email?" "will I be ready for the meeting tomorrow?" etc etc. These kinds of thoughts are like "hooks" that can get us all wound up and it is hard to shut down the endless chatter. So that is why I use the mantra to avoid that happening. It gives me something to focus on and the effort of the focus makes me fall back to sleep.
• Don't look at the clock!   It really does not help us to know what time it is. In fact, it only creates more anxiety and more "hooks" to get us wound up. "Oh no! it's 3:00 am and I have to be up in two hours!!" This does not help.  Focus on the mantra or relaxing music.
• You might try using a silk eye mask to ensure it is completely dark. I have light coming in my room and any kind of light tends to make me wake up or sleep lightly. The eye mask is so light you don't feel it and it helps to induce a deep sleep. 
• Above all, try to be gentle with yourself about it. Treat yourself as you would a child who wakes up in the middle of the night. You would be kind and reassuring and maybe sing them to sleep or turn on a CD.

Here are some CDs I really like and use over and over. I recommend using one CD you like for at least a month at a time. This way, your body gets the message when you hear the music, "it's time to sleep now." I prefer music without words or words that are not in English so that my mind is not "hooked' into a storyline.

David Darling "Cello Blue" --beautiful, peaceful cello music 

Singh Kaur "Guru Ram Das" --healing chant with Kim Roberston accompanying on harp

Eckhart Tolle's Music to Quiet the Mind-- a nice compilation of relaxing music

Just about anything by Snatam Kaur--she has such a beautiful voice.  Here is her rendition on YouTube of a beautiful Irish song, " May the Long Time Sun"

Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms, Silent Night & Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was such a high energy and happy time at a place I sang in Waynesboro, VA.  It's the kind of place that really strikes a chord in me as it reminds me of my early years living in Chicago.  The group is a mixture of elderly,  some younger developmentally then their years, some with special needs.

What I loved so much about singing with them was the way it all flowed from one seemingly unconnected song/idea to the next. It was a spontaneous flow of laughter and music and dancing and connecting.

Some favorite moments were when I got out my drum and others had percussion instruments to play along.  We jammed on some African rhythms I know and some of the people danced in the circle.  Then I was telling the group how I had someone ask to sing "Silent Night" last week, even though it was July. One of the people said, "well, Silent Night is not just about Christmas, it is about a silent time." and so we sang, "Silent Night." Then I asked about any birthdays coming up and we ended up singing "Happy Birthday" about  5 times. 2 for ones this week, 2 for ones I missed and 1 just for fun.

Later one of the activity assistants, Beth, asked if I knew any Bluegrass music and I suggested "Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms".  I got out the words so she could sing along. Now this song is one you may or may not know but some of the words are not happy or "nice."  I often try to avoid lyrics about people being in jail or cheating on each other and the like but but the way Beth sang it changed that for me. I saw that it is all in the way you sing it. She sang these verses with a wry smile and mock dramatic flair and I had fun bouncing off of her with each of us hooting and "woot wooting" after each verse:

Now where were you last Friday night
While I was lying in jail
Walking the streets with another man
Wouldn't even go my bail

I know you parents don't like me
They drove me away from your door
If I had my life to live over
I'd never go there any more

   Roll in my sweet baby's arms
   Roll in my sweet baby's arms
   Lay around the shack 'til the mail comes back
  And I'll roll in my sweet baby's arms

It hit me that  some bluegrass is a lot like the blues I learned in Chicago--it is about things being  so bad they are funny. It's about having fun with life even when things seem impossible and laughing and enjoying each moment with wherever life finds us.

The picture above was taken just down the road from the home on the way going to yet another home yesterday. Such a lovely, unspoiled beautiful part of Virginia.

The power of other art forms, a cartoon

Last week I attended National VSA Conference in Washington, DC. VSA Arts is an international Organization that works to promote experiences in the arts  with people with disabilities.  I really enjoyed meeting VSA artists from all over the world (including Japan!) and the presentations were great. I've been involved with the local VSA organization for some years now and love it.

I had a powerful experience in one workshop that I ended up going to at the last minute because the one I had planned for had been cancelled. It was one entitled, "Comics, Films & Language" which talked about overcoming stereotyping in the arts.  We were given a piece of paper with four empty quadrants in order to draw our own cartoon. Pictured above is mine--if you click on it, you can see it more closely.  The instructions were :

4-Frame Story Activity:

1. Think about a time when you were (dis)abled. ( for me this is about my cochlear implant journey)
2. Revisit from perspectives that decenter expectations of normal.
3. Show close-up through humor, parody, or metaphor your identity, experience, strengths, and capacities.
4. Deconstruct disabling social constructions.
I did this drawing on the train going home. I didn't really think too much about it, I just drew what I felt led to draw. I have my own interpretation of what i did but I thought i'd leave it up to you to draw your own conclusions. If you want to, you can comment below what comes to mind. Thanks!

Come on by my website sometime too! I have lots of music to listen to!
www.blueoconnell.com
 

Amazing Grace and the unexpected gift

Yesterday I was singing at a group home and someone requested, "Amazing Grace". When we got to the second verse, suddenly I heard a beautiful male tenor voice ring out behind me, belting out the words to the song. I turned and saw it was the electrician working on the electrical sockets behind us! What an unexpected gift it was! He had a beautiful voice and I went to talk to him afterwards to see what band or choir he sang in. He said he didn't really sing anywhere.  He laughed it off and got back to work.

He may not have thought much about his singing ability but I will never forget his spontaneous expression. He made our day! 

It makes me think of how simple it can be to make someone's day.  A smile, an encouraging word, a kind gesture such as opening the door for someone. It does not take much. I make a point to remember the gifts of each day.

I wonder what today's gift will be?



PS Thank you for coming by! In addition, I play weddings and special events. Here's my website (http://www.blueoconnell.com ) and keep in touch! 

Christmas in July

Yesterday I sang at a Mission home and it was an unusual but very uplifting experience. This is a place for some people who otherwise have fallen through the cracks and seem to have no family in the area and not much of anything. Many of them are not very functioning or responsive when spoken to.    Many of the residents are elderly, some severely disabled, others are both.   It was only my 3rd time singing there and I had planned some gospel music but it turns out the people I played for last time were not there.

I started off singing some well known songs like "You are My Sunshine," "This Little Light of Mine", etc. but very few were singing and I was aware that there was an awkward feeling in the room and I was unsure how to proceed a few times.  Finally, I asked "is there a song anyone wants to sing?" and one of the workers said, "Miss Carla likes to sing Silent Night." and so we sang Silent Night.   Miss Carla smiled her toothless smile and said afterwards, "that is a beautiful song!"

I said, "let's have Christmas in July--why not?!" and so then we sang, "Feliz Navidad," "Joy to the World," "O Come all Ye Faithful" and on and on like that --meanwhile the room was hot from an old non functioning air conditioner but no one seemed to notice. It was great to see the staff at their desks singing along. Although there was one grumpy staff member who walked through the room during a rollicking rendition of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"  who slammed her door behind her. Bah humbug!

It was a lesson in going with the flow. Had I just continued trying to lead the group with songs I thought they'd like, this experience would not have happened. Let the people lead and I follow.  It was such an uplifting experience!

P.S. Thanks for coming by and if you are looking for music for a wedding or special event-here is my page where I have samples:
http://blueoconnell.com/services.htm

Songs for the 11th hour

This coming November will mark my 10 year anniversary of working as a certified music practitioner playing therapeutic music for patients at U.VA hospital.  I don't often talk about my experiences with patients here on my blog because of confidentiality issues.   I will say that I love my work and even after 10 yrs, I am still filled with a sense of awe from doing this work.

I play mostly in ICU and meet people in what could be the most difficult time in their lives. Most of the time, patients are unable to speak to me as they are too ill or they are on oxygen (tube in their mouth). This was the case in the picture above but as you can see, we were still able to communicate. Music is the bridge that connects me to others. The picture was taken by a family member who is documenting the healing progress of their loved one. Music with me that day was the highlight of the day. What a gift for me to be that for someone.

In another room that same day, there were several family members present as I sat next to their loved one and played my guitar.  Doing this work, I feel so privileged to be allowed into such a private moment for all and to be able to provide comfort and hope with music.

It is so different from the performing world where the focus is on me. At the hospital, I tell patient it is ok to go to sleep (they often do) and to the visitors I say, "don't mind me, you can keep talking among yourselves."  Then I sit and do my work and weave in the musical prescription for that specific patient. Sometimes I fill the room with my own compositions or something improvised on the spot but no two music sessions are alike. Just like no people are alike. Music, the universal language has the capacity to break down all barriers and nourish the heart and soul.