Just what I needed...

Once a month I play my guitar in the lobby at the gym where I go (acac). I often improvise or play my own pieces, sometimes I bring in music to read from too. I generally try to create energizing and restorative soundscapes that will invite those weary from the world to sit for a spell and listen. And that is just what they do.

"This is just what I needed," a woman said as she sat down next to me and closed her eyes and listened.  Another man I see every day but we've never spoken came up and tapped me on my shoulder and said, "it's beautiful!"

Some people come and bring a newspaper or magazine and sit and listen and read and relax. I love how they "get it" that the music is there to restore and energize them. Sometimes when people see me with a guitar,  I feel like they expect me to entertain them. Not that there is anything wrong with entertainment but it is a whole different feeling. To me music is like a food that can nourish any kind of craving, need or taste. It can fulfill a need for adventure (Brazilian and Latin American music), or be like sonic vitamins (Bach, Vivaldi) to calm you, or it can be that staple standard of an old folk song like Shenandoah to make you feel refreshed.

I love watching the people going by and our conversations we have when they choose to come and listen.  Their smiles and gestures of gratitude to me energizes me to keep going and fill the room with harmonious sounds. In a world filled with noises of construction workers, leaf blowers, traffic, loud car stereos.. .it is a nice thing to provide some peace through music.

A mixed bag

Most of the time I share stories that are positive and uplifting. I choose to focus on those moments. That is not to say that I don't have challenging experiences.  Quite often they are a mixed bag of elements of distraction, disruption, conflict amidst the good things going on.

Yesterday I was singing at a nursing home in the skilled nursing area. People were gathered in the living room where small tables are set up and snacks and meds are given during music session.  There was an elderly man sitting at one of the tables eating a plate of scrambled eggs and cornbread. He was hooked up to an oxygen tank and used a wheelchair.  Every time I started to sing a song, he would yell out something I could not always understand because his mouth was full of food.  His tone was very rude, to the point where it was surprising how rude he was. Crumbs of cornbread and eggs would dribble all down his shirt. Each time he yelled out, an activities assistant would come over to him and whisper for him to be quiet. "What?!!" he would yell. "It is time for you to be quiet," she would say.

Being hearing impaired, things like this can be hard to focus with people yelling, staff trying to intervene, residents reacting.   Meanwhile there is me trying to get others to sing along. I do have to say that instead of feeling really annoyed, it seemed comical to me. It seemed that the man was trying to get me angry and I decided I would not let him.  I started to sing again and he yelled out, "Hot Dog!" The nice activities director came over to say, "I don't have a hot dog to fix you" she said to him. "I want a hot dog!" he yelled again and eventually the nice woman wheeled him off to his room.

It turned out to be a good session though. Ms. Tyler came and sang and picked out some songs. There was a man I've seen for a couple of years who sang along. All this time, I never knew he could even talk because he never has. It was great to hear his voice for the first time singing. Usually Ms. Tyler is unhappy with me because I don't have enough country songs in my repertoire but this time she picked songs she knows I sing. Often singing with seniors is a mixed bag. Because of their illness or disposition, it is not always easy to make them happy. I do try though and I was glad I didn't let Mr. Hot Dog spoil our time.

I'll Fly Away

I love when I find a song that really strikes a strong chord with the people I see. Sometimes I am surprised by which songs do this.  I've found that the song, "I'll Fly Away" is one that really gets people singing.  I am surprised because the lyrics say, "when I die, hallelujah by and by" and I thought that by mentioning any suggestion of dying would not feel appropriate to sing for someone very ill in a hospital or nursing home. But I see the glimmer of hope in their eyes when they sing this song.   Many of the people I see are very religious and also Southern--while i was raised without a religious upbringing in Chicago. Before I moved to Virginia, I never heard this song.

Yesterday I was playing for a patient at the hospital who was feeling down becuase she thought she was going home soon--only to find out that she had to stay longer. I sang for her a couple of songs I wrote and then her nurse (male) came in the room and requested I sing, "I'll Fly Away." As I started singing, he harmonized with me with the most beautiful voice! Then I saw the woman in the next bed over singing along while sewing on her needlepoint project.  The woman who was down a minute ago was now smiling and she just looked so happy.

After that song, the nurse and I sang a few more. I asked him what key and he said, "I don't need a key" and sure enough he could sing any song and key and adapt his voice accordingly. I wished I had a video to remember our moments in that room.  How music transformed the sadness into hope and inspiration. It lifted us all.  what song does this for you?

Very Good

Yesterday I sang at a group day care center where people with severe special needs spend the day.  When I say "special needs," I also mean they are special people.  For though it may appear they lack intellectual understanding, I think this allows them to come completely from their heart.

One of our favorite songs to sing together is, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." This is because they love to hear their names being sung to them and they love to pick the next person's name. After each verse I will ask, "who else?" and  Justine will say, "Daniel!" And after Daniel I will ask, "who else?" and Diane will say, "Susan!" and it goes on like this for a good long time until we have sung for everyone in the room and beyond.

There is one girl who cannot sing or speak but she makes up for this with the light in her eyes and the big smile on her face and how she dances in her wheelchair.  When she is especially excited, she shakes her head from side to side vigorously. To someone who does not know her, it may appear she is saying, "No." When in fact it is more like, "Yes! Yes! Yes!!"

As I was getting ready to leave,  I told her we could sing one last song. I went and sang with her, "This Little Light of Mine." and again the shaking head, the vigorous movement in her chair. When we finished singing she said clearly, "Very Good."   We were all surprised to hear her speak. In the 6 or so years I've known her, I've never heard her to so. It really made our day!

If you're going to San Francisco

Last night I was singing for Ms. Valentino at one of the nursing homes I visit. As she is bedridden, I go into her room and sing for her. "Hi Darlin'!" she said, "Play me something!" I know she loves musicals, so I sang: "My Favorite Things." Afterward she was telling me about her son Joe Valentino (not his real name) who lives in San Francisco and plays the guitar too.  When she asked me to sing again, I started singing the old song "San Francisco" and it came to me to make up the words about her son:

"If you're going to San Francisco

be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

if you're going to San  Francisco

you're going to meet Joe Valentino there..."

She loved that and then said, "make up another song about Joe!" and so I sang:

"This land is your land

this land is Joe's land

from California

to the New York Island." 

"I love that" she said, "make up another one!" and so I sang:

"You are my Joseph, my only Joseph

you make me happy when skies are grey.."

...and on it went. I think I will propose on our next visit  that we make a songbook of songs all about her son Joe. We'll see what she says.

Everything and the kitchen sink

Check out that wilderness camping sink above! It is found at the Twin Oaks women's gathering space for the campers. It is a beautiful, rustic place in rural Virginia. Something I have noticed about myself is that when I go somewhere new, I take pictures of things and places around me--not of people. I am always fascinated by a given setting and how that makes you feel. Walking around yesterday in the woods  while waiting to give my Sacred Chants and Song Circle workshop, I felt renewed by the peace and beauty there.

It was the perfect setting to sing old Native American chants and I really enjoyed the group of women who came together to share.  The workshop began with my leading all of the songs but soon I invited others to share songs with the group.   We sang songs like, "Ancient Mother," "The River is Flowing," "I am One with the Infinite Sun," " The Earth is our Mother."   Songs that fill you up on a peaceful late summer day.  I always love how a group of people  from different places and of different ages and backgrounds come together and harmonize. It is a bonding that takes place that renews the spirit.

We sang for nearly 2 hrs and gradually we drifted into small groups to talk and get to know each other more until the dinner bell rang and it was time to eat. I enjoyed sharing a meal outside on the picnic tables--tofu and chicken BBQ and veggies and cookies for dessert.  The sun was going down as I drove home and I was filled with such a sense of happiness having shared today with new friends.  A restorative day!

Sundown Serenade

I find the time of sunset to be an especially comforting time of day. Most people are home from work and the night begins and all is quieted. For patients with dementia though, the time of sundown is can be very confusing and it's probably their worst time of day. Some of them want to "go home", not realizing that the nursing home is their "home." Some of them become really agitated and cannot be calmed. This is where I come in. I have a few places where my job is to come and soothe those with dementia with music. In one place I sit in a big room where everyone is and play my guitar. That is what i did last night.

I have gone here now two years and have become another routine for them. When I arrived last night I saw one of the assistants helping Ms. Rachel and Ms. Clara into the elevator to take them to where i am playing. The night nurse told me Ms. Rachel was having a really bad day and just wanted to "go home" and kept trying to call on the phone (she was unable to call out without using a code she is not given).  Ms. Rachel is one of the nicest ladies of anyone there and so it was upsetting to the staff to see her so agitated.   Everything changed though when i set up my chair next to her and played my guitar. She sat quietly and listened to me thoughtfully. At times she leaned over to look at the music I had brought with me but kept quiet. By the time the hour was up, she was calmed.

I was treated to the lovely sunset of the countryside in the picture above. I love the drives to these places on country roads and love my work with them. Sundown is a special time for me.