Smile though your heart is aching...

Just over a week ago on May 23rd, my Mother passed away. As she had been ill for a long time, I do feel some peace that she no longer suffers. Some days are easier than others at such a time. I have found that my work helps me in many ways. The hugs I have received and words of kindness and offers of help.   Singing  old songs with others has always been a form of comfort. At times though,  I feel as though I am living the lyrics of that song, "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin:

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking"

Yesterday I played at the Missionary home I've been singing at for a few years. I've gotten to know some of the residents there and was surprised to see Ms. Florence (not her real name) sitting in the front row waiting for me to sing.  I hadn't seen her in a long time. She was wearing a dozen or more colored beaded homemade bracelets on each wrist. I was complimenting her on her beautiful bracelets and said, "My Mother had bracelets like that. " Just as I said the word, "had"  a lump formed in my throat and I thought I would burst into tears. It was the first time I talked about my mother in the past tense to someone at my gigs. Ms. Florence smiled and said, "What is your mother's name? I want to meet her!"  I stood there fighting back the tears and I could not bring myself to tell her that my mother died only days ago. 

"....Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near..."

Saved by the bell (so to speak), it was time to sing and Ms. Florence and the others sang along with such happy gusto that I forgot my sorrow for a little while. 

"...That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile..."

They laughed at my story I told when I was a child and my father yelled at me for singing in bed. "I told you to stop that singing and go to sleep!"  (laughter)  The song, "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" is what I could not stop singing and every time I sing that song, I remember that. Yesterday I was glad for the laughs I got because as I told the story, I heard my friend's question in my head, "So how does it feel to be an orphan?"

"Sometimes I feel like a motherless child" comes to mind. 

There is a song for every occasion. I was amazed I made it through yesterday's gig without crying and how healing it felt when Ms. Florence and the others seemed so uplifted by our time together. It helps me remember the good things in life. 

"Smile when your heart is breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by"