Don't sing about death

The other day I arrived to sing for one of my nursing home groups and ran into a woman who was in my last music session there. She said, "I loved your music! All of the songs were just great!" and then she paused a minute and added, "All except the one about death..." I knew just the song she was referring to.  "Do you mean this song?" and I started to sing the refrain:

"I'll Fly away, oh glory
I'll fly away, in the morning
when I die, hallelujah by and by
I'll fly away."

She nodded her head with a puzzled look as if to ask, "How can you sing that with a smile on your face?" I explained to her it is a Southern Hymn that many folks around here grew up singing in church. From a Methodist or Baptist perspective, dying holds a great source of comfort and salvation.  And to those who have declining health (and are aware of it and are suffering to some extent),  dying is a welcome relief from our burdensome  earthly life.

I did not grow up in the south though and neither did the woman I was talking to. I said for us death was something we didn't talk about. It was something to fear and to avoid discussing openly. It is a cultural difference. It took me some years before I really understood some of the perspectives of those raised with southern Baptist background (I'm from Chicago) but I do understand it now. In fact I've learned a lot from these people.

I've even played for people as they died peacefully. It's not the super charged dramatic scene I used to see on the Marcus Welby M.D. TV show. In fact I was very afraid of being around death until I started to be with people in hospice and at the hospital who were dying. It can be a very peaceful and beautiful thing.

That is why I can sing songs about death with a smile.  That is why when I come to the nursing home one evening and find a death notice of one of the people I've come to know, I am happy for them. (because they no longer suffer) Of course, I'm sad for me and others' loss though.

It was an interesting discussion I had and something that people would never imagine would come up when they hear I lead sing alongs.  Many songs talk of very dark or thought provoking topics. I say that's the reason to sing them. Life is about struggle too, not just joy. Music is a reflection of all of life.