Train wreck rescue

It was a beautiful day today and the drive out to Crozet (a neighboring town) a the nursing home  was beautiful. They are so sweet group although today there was a new elderly man there who when he saw my guitar said, "I'll pick wid ya" and because I have had success before with other residents playing guitar with me, I readily agreed for him to get his guitar and play with me.

I was in the middle of a song when he came back with his guitar but it was horribly out of tune and he strummed and it sounded terrible! I stopped to tell him he needed to tune but he could not hear or understand anything I said.  Each time I tried to play, he tried to play along but it sounded like--well, you guessed it, a train wreck. I would stop playing and try to tell him again to tune his guitar but again he just grinned and said, "yes I have a tuner" and did not understand (could not hear me).  It ended up that a staff member had to come and intervene.  She told him he could play after I was done. And so he sat there for the whole hour with his guitar in hand and completely focused on me to signal him for when the time would be right for him to start playing.

After the last song, I told him he could play now and we sat and listened awhile.   I have to give credit to the sweet ladies who sat and politely listened to something i cannot describe.. it was not very harmonious or musically pleasing but after each "song" we all clapped and this seemed to make him happy.   It turns out the train wreck brought a new element of endearment to the day and we all seemed to know it.

Have any of you experienced any "train wrecks" lately? Did anyone or anything save the day?

Love comes in many forms

On Sunday I took a writing workshop and one of the lessons was to write an inventory of memories for each decade.  You write for just 5 mins and quickly jot down the "best of" your cherished memories.
Then we were posed with the question of if we could choose only one of these memories to relive, which one would it be? That was hard for me because many of my best memories were an era or phase that lasted over time, not just one snapshot. I was struck that the others in the class chose memories connected to their marriage or family.  Since I have lived alone for many years, that would not be one of my choices. What I do know though is that I have a lot of love in my life.  Today was a day when I was shown that all over again!

I stopped by one of the club houses where I play once a month and was greeted in the parking lot by a man who is so affectionate to sweet to me. He ran up to me and hugged me and said, "I love you!" and then as an afterthought he added, "I love you like a sister, you're my friend." I said, "I love you too, you are my brother!" Eddie is an African-American man somewhere in his 60s who would be very handsome if he didn't appear downtrodden due to circumstances I don't know much about.  He reached for my guitar and carried it for me as we walked to the club house together.  When I got inside, I was greeted by another man who embraced me a long time and kissed me. Then he held my hand for awhile and told me it was his birthday on Saturday. I said, "I bet I am older than you" and he laughed and hugged and kissed me again. (it turns out I was right :)

This is a place where people with mental health challenges hang out during the day. There is a patio outside where we do most of our singing together. Many of them chain smoke and there are several coffee cans filled with cigarette butts.  I sat down next to one of the women who usually sings with me and I started to play some blues progressions and said we could make up a blues song. So I sang about smoking outside and taking in the sunshine and having a good time.  We were laughing and enjoying our time together.  I feel honored that these people let me be part of their lives. When I am there I see a glimpse of life that many do not see. They make do with so little and seem to not have much. But they do love music and they really appreciate me. It is good.

PS My answer to the question of what memory I would live again is that I would relive the summer of 1987 when I had a summer job at Omega institute in NY. How about you?  If you had to choose one memory what would  it be?

Bossa Nova Blue

Hi this is Jasper, Blue's cat. She does not no I am righting to you. I found out that her blog was recently featured on another blog and so I wanted to say hello out there! I wanted to ask, are there other cats who have humans who like to keep blogs? Can we get together online and Skype or something? I have so much to say.

For one thing I want to tell you (don't tell my mom I said it) that my mom is learning to play Bossa Nova! It is such fun to run around in the house to. Sometimes my mom dances with me too.

Do other cats dance with their mom's? if so, what kind of music do you dance to?

As you can see by the picture of me, I am in charge of shipping and handling my mommy's CDs. I found out she is giving some away! So I am busy now packing them.

Ut oh, I think she is home now so I have to go! bye!
(Pleaze do not tell her I hacked her blog!!!)

Sundowning Serenade

Tonight was my night to go and play my "sundowning serenade" at a nursing home in a neighboring town. "Sundowning" refers to the stressful & disorienting time for people with Alzheimer's. It is the time at the end of their day, as they are getting ready for bed.    When I arrived at the home, the frazzled nurse said, "oh, God bless you, we need you tonight!"

My serenade is an hour of quiet, peaceful instrumental guitar music.  It is amazing to see how immediate the reaction is when I start playing. The agitated pacing and nervous chatter stops and they all seem to just go into a zone. I saw that the nurses were pleased that having me in the room playing music gave them a much needed break.

Earlier this evening, I burned my finger right where I have to fret it on the guitar. There were some songs that caused me some pain because of this but I so rarely have such things happen that I didn't mind a little discomfort.

They had the TV on to the movie, "Wizard of Oz" with the sound muted and I amused myself by improvising along with the scenes at times. Since I was playing relaxing music, most of the time what I was playing did not flow well with the movie. Sometimes though the clash of moods made for an interesting idea for me to later explore. So many of my own compositions begin during sessions like tonight's serenade.

What kind of music do you listen to relax? Do you listen to music as you fall asleep?

You've Got a Friend

Today I sang with a group of adults with intellectual disabilities (autism, etc) They are such a sweet group but sometimes they can be a real handful! But it is always worth it. I'd say today was one of my favorite times with them.  We sat closer together and sang some silly songs like, "The Addams Family", "Flintstones", "Gilligans' Island" TV theme songs. But we really bonded during other songs like, "Stand by me", "Lean on me", "I'll be There", "Happy Together" and yes, "You've Got a Friend". This last song stood out because when I started to sing it two of the girls in the group came up and put their arm around me and we sang it together as a trio. I wanted to say, "take our picture!!" but you just have to imagine the goosebumps and good feelings that we put out there through one of my favorite songs.

I always come away from them feeling so awed by their incredible spirit for life. What would life be like if we could always stay in the magical, imaginative space we dwelt in as a child? So many times that sense of creative imagination halts when other responsibilities come up. But as the saying goes, "we don't stop playing because we grow old,  we grow old because we stop playing."
What a gift for me to be reminded of this every time I sing with them!
Thank you!

So how about you, have you been silly, have you played today?

P. S. I wanted to say hello to new folks who may be reading my blog for the first time sent here from my favorite blog by Katherine Jenkins "Lessons from the Monk I married."
Following her example, I'd like to do a giveaway of my CD, "Choose the Sky" that was five years in the making! This is because I had to stop the recording midway through the process and get cochlear implant surgery. It was a quite a journey but worth it!  You can read about it all on my website:
blueoconnell.com

If you are interested in a receiving a free copy of my CD--all you have to do is comment below and join in my blog by following me! I'd love to have you aboard!

Man's best friend

Tonight at the nursing home where I play each week I got to know one of the residents a bit more. Usually when I am there and singing and playing guitar in the hallways (as the folks get ready for bed) he is asleep in his wheelchair. Tonight though he spoke to me as I was walking by. I then went to him and he said, "I miss my wife." and burst into tears. I said, "oh I am so sorry, I am sure that you must feel very sad about that."  That made him cry harder and I rubbed his back and touched his arm and kept trying to say comforting things. "She must have been a nice lady",  "I'll bet she was very pretty" and he would cry more and say, "yes she was!"  I was so moved by his tears that I started to tear up a bit myself.

Then I decided to try to cheer him up. I don't normally try to talk someone out of their grief but I thought perhaps it would be more productive then dwelling on the past.  Since there was a painting above his head with a dog in the picture I asked, "do you like dogs?" and immediately, his face brightened and he smiled.  Then I started to sing, "How much is that Doggie in the Window" and he started to laugh.   I then started to do a little dance as I sang  the song and acted it out a bit while he laughed with tears streaming down his face. As I continued to sing the song, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

I was reminded of when I was a child, I used to go wake up my mother in the morning and  do pantomimes and dance around to make her laugh. I'd put on her glasses and be silly and she just loved it.  Laughter is the best medicine sometimes.

Have you laughed today?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today I sang at a Valentine's Day party at a nursing home in a neighboring town. As usual, I had planned for one thing but when I arrived, saw that a whole other approach would be required! Usually I sing in a small room with about 20 people but today we were in a big room and about 60 people were there! I actually got a bit of a sore throat trying to sing loud enough for everyone to hear without a microphone. I do have a guitar strap and I did like a strolling troubadour, making my way through the room.

The thing I had to change was the fact that I had planned all love songs which meant many songs that are sung quietly. I then gave myself over to the moment and realized that it was not about the type of song to sing, but about gathering together and having a good time.

Though I have sung at this home before many times, there were still many people I had never seen before. This made it much better for they brought new gutsto into the songs we like to sing each month.

After each song I would raise my fist in the air and give a "woo woo" and everyone would clap. I was impressed that this place is not one that appears to have a lot of money but they had Valentine bags for everyone that had candy and stuffed animals in them. Everyone seemed very happy and it made for a lovely holiday.

How was your Valentine's Day?