Power Outage

Yesterday I was singing for a group at a senior living center when a funny thing happened--the batteries in my cochlear implant processor died. Now it would ordinarily not have been a big thing but I was not wearing my hearing aid in my other ear. Let me explain.  Most of you know I have a profound hearing loss and I wear a hearing aid in one ear and a cochlear implant (CI)  in another. This is called "bimodal."

Lately I have been exploring going without my hearing aid and totally relying on my CI.  Part of the reason is I dislike the way my voice sounds with my hearing aid. I sound to myself like I have a cold and it is a pinched, nasal sound. Part of the reason is because people with severe hearing loss tend to use their face as a way to feel and monitor the sound of their own voices. Most people talk using more of their chest as a resonating chamber.

In a recent singing class,  the voice teacher coached me to put my hand over my chest and feel the vibrations of my voice resonating there as I sang. I have been practicing this but I still don't like the way my voice sounds with the hearing aid.

So anyway,  here I was in the middle of a George Gershwin song, "O Lady Be Good." when suddenly my CI processor batteries died. Thunk. It's like someone pulled  the plug on the microphone. Or like going from a bright room into the dark.

I kept singing but it was an odd feeling to not hear myself.  Don't misunderstand me though, I do have some hearing without my aids on but it goes from volume 10 to 1.  I held it together for about 5 more songs and when it was time to stop, I quickly rushed over to my purse to get my hearing aid on to talk to the people in the audience. I don't think any of them had any idea what I experienced.

I tell these kind of stories because it may be easy as an audience member to be critical of someone's singing or playing. But you never know what might be going on with them behind the scenes.
 They may be deaf like me and groping in the dark through the songs with a smile on her face.
Whew, that was close. Kind of like getting lost in the car on a dark road with the gas tank on empty. (I've done that!)

That's why I call this work an adventure!

Have you had any unexpected adventures lately?